Donald Trump Says Women Should Only Get Equal Pay If Lesbian

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(Cedar Rapids, Iowa) – Coming off a crucial and surprising defeat on his journey to become the 45th President of the United States, Donald Trump has made another controversial statement, this time regarding equal pay for women.  Trump was spotted outside of Cedar Rapids, Iowa at around 2:00 a.m. this morning throwing $1 coins at mostly middle-class pedestrians who happened to be outside. A staff writer for The Insider Weekly approached Trump who briefly rambled about the Iowa Caucus before revealing his opinion on equal pay.

“I want you to write something for me about equal pay for women.  I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time.  I think the only way women should be getting paid as much as men is if they’re a lesbian.  ‘Cuz that means there’s no man, it’s just two women.  Then I could see why they would need the money, they don’t have the man, because they’re lesbians.  You know what I’m saying? It just makes sense.”

In a dejected but still hopeful tone Trump explained that he could, “Win this thing if [I] had the lesbians on my side.  The lesbians are key. They would help me become president and I would be their king!”.

As the night went on Trump exhausted himself of his $1 coins, stopped by a 7/11 gas station where he got a hot dog claiming, “I eat one of these hot dogs every week, it’s my guilty pleasure…that and hating black people… and Muslims… and Mexicans.” Trump’s campaign declined to comment on the subject only saying, “yeah that sounds like something he would say”.

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