A Critical Review: Microwaves


(TIW) – Our beloved and critically acclaimed series, “A Critical Review:” has returned! The Insider Weekly breaks down anything and everything to provide valuable insight on things you use everyday. Our Critical Reviews consist of a brief history of the subject, testing, and finally our official rating!  This week’s edition …(drum roll)… Microwaves!

A Brief History:

Invented and founded by Richard Knox, a man known for his quick wit and charm with younger women, the microwave’s food-heating ability has shaped the modern world. Richard Knox grew up in a small town called New York City (smaller compared to what it is now).  He always had a propensity for inventions, it’s a little known fact but he also invented what we know today as the mug! Richard developed a fascination with electricity when both of his parents were killed in a presumed freak accident which was later revealed to be a double homicide by Richard Knox himself!


After reading up on the rich history of the microwave, we decided to give it a go and test out our in-office microwave on a hearty bowl of carrots. How long did we microwave them for? 20 seconds? 50 seconds? Nope. 8 minutes. The carrots were microwaved for 8 minutes.

When microwaving carrots you must first decide how long you want them to be in there for. At The Insider Weekly our walls are covered with “8 Mile” posters, the movie not the CD.  We all love that movie and the whole Detroit scene in general. As a tribute to our beloved, we decided to microwave our carrots for 8 minutes! Next you must decide on a container to hold your carrots, we do not currently have any plates or bowls in our office so we decided to just throw the loose carrots on the little tray in the microwave! A couple of beeps and boops later and they were done!

The results: Disgusting orange mush. Somehow the microwave had turned our beautiful carrots into gooey slime. They were gross, and we regret ever reviewing microwaves because of it. Although some may argue the microwave does have some uses, we think it is just a stupid and wasteful invention. Even though we thought it was really cool that Richard Knox also invented the mug and all that stuff about his parents, we just can’t look past the orange slime. 

The Insider Weekly’s Official Rating: 2 Stars.


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